some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
