Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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