did you get engaged???
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
