Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
