They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
