i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
