is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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