I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
