i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
