i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
