all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize