I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
