Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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