i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
