No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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