This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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