Buhtt sex?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
