Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
