my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
