My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
