You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just invented taco cereal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
this is an emotional support booty call
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
