Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
