Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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