I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
