Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
