Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
