if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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