You surviving the open bar?
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I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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