I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
