I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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