Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
