Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
