my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
