I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
