okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
