4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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