I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
