so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
