Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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