It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
