Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
