just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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