I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
one might say we're banned from that church
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
