I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
