Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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