stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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