Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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