i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I supernannyed him into submission
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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