like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
