Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
