i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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