Buhtt sex?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize