I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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