Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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