dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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