i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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