i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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