It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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