I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
