Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
