I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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