So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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