She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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