worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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