Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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