Swine flu. Run for my life!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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