So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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